So we’ve all been there, stuck doing something we don’t want to do. Trouble is, when it’s a job that we don’t want and we realise this too late (when we’re already in it) then it’s a big chunk of our daily life doing what we don’t want. Like 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, and that’s probably the minimum. And it’s before the commute!
I’ve written before how you’re happier at work if you have a work best friend, but actually if you spend all day moaning to them about how bad work is and how you’re fed up and how it’s wearing you down, then they might just be encouraging you (inadvertently) to feel worse.
You see the brain is a clever thing at times, but it also has it’s limitations. And when you’re focused on something, the brain will help you look out for that, whether what you’re focused on is good for you or bad for you. So you literally get more of what you focus on. And who wants more of the bad stuff?!
If you keep complaining about how bad this job is, and how tired you are, and how everyone is out for themselves, then you’ll find examples of those things all day long. Which is going to make you feel great. Kidding! It’s really not.
Let me give you an example. When I made my first vision board I gathered lots of magazines together and cut out images that I loved and wanted, literally everything from a new fire to healthy food and holidays. When I laid it out on my board I couldn’t fit it all on, so I kept some of the clippings to one side for next time I revisited it.
Fast forward six months and I’d achieved most of what was on the vision board (I’m still working on the puppy but that’s a family commitment so not completely in my control!) It was time for a refresh.
It was only when I pulled out those clippings that I realised they’d had an impact too. All I had done was cut them out once and then put them away. They didn’t make it onto the board. I didn’t look at them every day. But they’d still made an impact on me. Because I’d bought a dining table exactly the same as one picture. And the actual duvet cover and cushions in another picture!
I can remember being amazed that this had happened. I hadn’t remembered these clippings and gone out to buy those things deliberately. I’d just seen them and liked them and bought them, all subconsciously.
Anyway, the point here is that our brain is very powerful, but it’s only as good as the stuff we put into it. So if we keep moaning about how terrible our lot in life is, it will reinforce that and show us more examples of our terrible life.
Thats why we need to stop talking about what we don’t want and start talking about what we do want. Do you want a shorter commute? Do you want a home based job? Do you want to be your own boss? Do you want to do something that fulfills you? Do you want flexible hours so that you can watch your kids sports day?
Whatever it is you want, talk about that instead. Chew your best friends ear off about it if you like (and they don’t object). And catch yourself when you talk about what you don’t want and stop and turn it back into what you do want.
if you know what you don’t want, but you aren’t sure how to change this into what you do want, then I’ve created this audio to help you do just that.
Click here to get instant access.
My hope for you is that you work out what you do want and start to focus on that, so your brain can give you a helping hand in making that happen.