Okay, right out of the gate let me say here that this isn’t one of those inequality things.
Not to state the obvious but, I am a woman.
Which means I get women. As in understand them. Not all of them I might add, but generally, I find I can put myself in other women’s shoes fairly easily.
And I find that much harder with men. Maybe it’s because I’m not one that I can’t relate as easily, who knows?
So yes, I prefer to work with women than men. That doesn’t mean that I don’t work with men. I have, and will under certain circumstances. However, I choose to market specifically to women as I prefer to work with them.
But being a woman isn’t really the criteria.
It’s having the same experiences shape you. It’s having the same issues and challenges to overcome. Self doubt for example is very common in women and something I know how to deal with and support women through.
Being potentially controversial again here, I don’t see that same self doubt problem in men. I’m more likely to notice men projecting confidence, even when I know they don’t have it, when the situation is new and they’re way out of their comfort zone. And of course men have their old friend testosterone which gives them chemical confidence too. I’m not saying men don’t doubt themselves, I’m saying they often already have the tools to overcome it.
Another huge challenge I see in women at all levels is imposter syndrome. However qualified they are, however experienced they are, women feel that they don’t belong. They’re not good enough. They’re going to get found out. There are some high profile actresses who have imposter syndrome, Nicole Kidman and Kate Winslet to name two who have spoken openly about it. Award winning actresses, who command multi million pound salaries for their work. Which shows that it doesn’t matter what you earn. It doesn’t matter how many people tell you you’re amazing, and how many awards you win. If you don’t feel you’re good enough, no amount of anyone else telling you that will change it. Really.
I’ve been there with imposter syndrome myself. Who am I to do this job? Who am I to coach these people? Who am I to do a Facebook live and expect people to watch? Who am I to speak at this event? And some of that can be useful, to make us perform better. But most of the time it gets right in the way of us being our best self. Of us taking the chances. Of us saying yes.
A great way to deal with imposter syndrome is to create an alter ego. Beyoncé has one for on stage, she becomes Sasha Fierce. It allows her to channel the qualities she wants to project in a very clear way.
The biggest challenge that I have when working with women though is this; women put themselves last. Literally after everyone and everything else. And even then they feel guilty for doing something just for them. And whatever it is it has to fit around the kids and the home and work and all the other commitments too. I see it all the time.
Women who have great ideas, who want to go for a promotion or to build a business, but who can’t (or won’t) carve time out of their week to do that. Who feel they have to cook from scratch every day to feed their kids nutritious meals, when they could buy ready meals once a week instead to get some time back. Or batch cook at the weekend instead. Women who don’t have any help running the house because no one can do it as well as they can. Well if that’s what you want to do, then great. If your goal is to run a tight ship at home, and be proud of that, then go you. I know a few people who fit that, who have that as their priority, and I completely respect them and their choice.
But if that’s not your goal? If you have dreams you’re not achieving, then those things are just excuses. Excuses you can use so you don’t have to try. Because if you don’t try, you can’t fail. And I see so many women dreaming of doing things but not actually taking action to make them a reality. To do that, you need to put yourself first. Not always, and not in every situation, but consistently and in a way that enables you to devote time to achieving your goals and dreams. Pick the important things and do those. And learn to get help, and to delegate the things you don’t need to do, so that you can do the things you were meant to do.
I don’t (often) see men people pleasing, or asking for permission, or putting everyone else’s “needs” (and that’s in speechmarks because are they really needs or are they wants?) above their own.
I do often see women doing that, at the expense of themselves.
I want to be a strong woman, who goes after my dreams and works bloody hard to make them a reality. And I want to help other women do that too. And if you’re a man who wants to work with me, then please don’t be offended. If we’re a good fit and I think I can help you, then great. If not, there are literally hundreds of other coaches out there that will work with you. Chances are they’ve been through similar situations to you and can relate. And help you through them.
If you’d like to know more about working with me and you think we’d be a good fit, then book a call today. You can do that by clicking here.
