I came across this phrase recently when I was reading a book about coaching and it’s stuck with me ever since because it resonates, not just with me but when I look at people and situations around me.
I often hear people saying that things will be better “when”. When they get the new job, when they’re earning more money, when work is quieter, when they have more free time.
When these things happen, like the new job for instance, things may seem better for a while. But wherever you go, you go. So the problems that you had before, in the old job, tend to rear their head again sooner rather than later. If you worked long hours and felt overwhelmed in your old job, chances are high that you’ll do the same in your new job. Replace “worked long hours and felt overwhelmed” with most things. If you were disorganised / bored / negative before, you likely still will be.
Changing our external circumstances can give us a positive boost and end up being a really good thing. But if we don’t look at ourselves and what we might need to change internally then we tend to revert to the same problems and issues.
I’m not suggesting that you get on board with your inner critic and start focusing on all the things you could perceive you’ve done wrong, because feeling bad never helps you improve and do better. But be honest with yourself. What needs to change? What do you want to do differently next time?
Only when you really know that can you focus on developing you, so that regardless of where you go, you go.