When I run resilience workshops, I start by giving everyone an elastic band (also known as a rubber band, not something you see much of these days when we’re both climate conscious and paperless but don’t worry, I reuse and recycle!).
Elastic bands come in all shapes and sizes, thin to thick, short to long and everything in between. When you stretch an elastic band, you stress it, and then it bounces back into shape when you release it. Maybe when you’ve put it round a bunch of papers for example, you might stretch it to get it over them and once it is on and in place, it relaxes.
A new fresh elastic band might not have a lot of stretch in it but as it gets more used, it becomes stretchier and more flexible.
You’ll recognise an older elastic band that’s been used and stretched over and over as it starts to look a bit frayed. It loses some of its elasticity and you have to use it carefully as it looks like it might break.
An elastic band that breaks is no use to anyone. It can’t do the things it was meant for, and it won’t ever go back to being a normal elastic band again. You could tie a knot in it, but it might not do what you need it to and it could break somewhere else.
I think of resilience as just like that elastic band. When you’re resilient and new and fresh at things you’ve got elasticity and you can bounce back from the stresses of life. But the more stress you come up against, the more it erodes your bouncebackability. Too much of it and you need to be careful or you might break just like the old elastic band. And just like the band, if you do snap, you won’t be the same again. It will change you.
That’s why resilience is really important. Because in life we will face challenges, some more than others but ultimately everyone comes up against something at some point, even the most blessed of us. It’s how you deal with it, your mindset about it, and the foundations you have in place that will help you both tackle the challenges that come up and thrive when they do. Like a tea bag, we get stronger when we’re in hot water. We rise to the challenges that come our way and we realise we are more capable than we ever thought we could be. Without those, we would never know. We wouldn’t see what we can and will do for ourselves, for others, for our principles and beliefs.
But we need to be prepared for those challenges so that they don’t overwhelm us. Knowing the foundations of resilience, knowing the things that specifically make you more resilient and actively taking steps to keep your resilience levels high means that when you go through challenging times, you might get stretched and stressed, but you’ll also do the right things and bounce back better.
Falling down can’t be helped. Getting back up again is a choice and one that we can prepare to make.