Habits are something you do naturally that you don’t need to think about, behaviours that are ingrained in your daily processes that you just do. Some might be good, and some not so good, and because you do them on autopilot and they’ve built up over your lifetime, you may not even realise they’re habits.
All of your habits, the good and the bad, are serving you in some way. You’re getting something out of them that you at one time thought useful. For example the glass of wine after a stressful day can be a useful way to wind down, so you have a habit of reaching for the bottle when you’re feeling stressed. And don’t get me wrong, that can be an effective way to destress in the here and now. But some habits, and this one as an example, might make you feel immediately less stressed but the after effects of the alcohol may actually make things worse. Our brains prefer the immediate reward though, and we can tend to ignore the potential consequences of that reward (even if at the back of your head you already know you’ll feel sluggish tomorrow and won’t be glad you had that second glass!).
Habits are formed over our lifetimes and one of the influences to them in our earlier years is parents. The habits your parents had can often become yours by default. Sometimes this is a good thing, brushing your teeth regularly for example. Other times we might have picked up habits that we just do now, but that when we think about it aren’t great for us. As a child, I always got a treat on an evening after tea, a bar of chocolate. These days its not something I do, I phased it out as I grew up, but occasionally I do fancy something sweet on an evening and if I want it, I have it. It’s not a habit though, it’s something I do deliberately and occasionally. If I’d kept it going rather than recognising it and choosing to do something different, it would still be a habit though, and one that doesn’t serve me or my goals. We have to recognise the habits we don’t want and actively address them.
Last week I wrote about personality tests (go and read it on the last blog post if you missed it). Often our personalities influence our habits. For example, if you’re an upholder, chances are that you have a strong set of habits that you do every day towards achieving your goals. Similarly if you’re an obliger, I imagine that you might have some habits you develop because they are helpful for others, rather than you: and those might not be habits that serve you and your goals. If you’re a rebel like me, you might find it hard to create habits that stick, because you rebel against your expectations as well as other’s expectations. A questioner would likely only build habits that have been justified.
Building a habit that helps us move in the direction of our goals means we take consistent action and small steps every day towards what we want. We build momentum and do it easily and without drastic action or unnecessary thought. Before we know it we’re making progress and it feels effortless. That’s the power of habit.
One of the easiest ways to create a habit is to anchor it to a habit you already have. For example, if you always make a coffee first thing on a morning, and you want to create a habit to take your multivitamin, putting the multivitamin next to your coffee machine or in the cupboard with your coffee or cups means you’ll see it and remember and that will trigger your new habit. Cues like that are helpful in creating habits that will stick.
Another tip for creating habits is to make them small. Really really small. So small that it feels like they won’t make any difference. Stephen Guise wrote a great book on this called mini habits, about setting the bar so low that even on your worst day you can do them. It leads to momentum and achievement and consistency which all lead towards your goals. It’s an easy but useful read if you want to find out more.
As I’ve already mentioned, as a Rebel I find it hard to stick to expectations, from both myself and others, so I’ve found a way that works for me. I created a list of all of the habits that I know are good for me. A list of things that help me relax, have optimal health, and generally be at my best. There’s about 15-20 on the list. Every day, I tick off the ones I’ve done that day. I don’t do them at a special time, or in a specific order. It’s flexible enough that I don’t need to do them at all! But even on my worst days I’ve usually done at least two or three. But the tracking of them really helps me to see my progress. I have a sum of the habits I’ve done each day and then a sum of the total. I added up Q1 yesterday and it was 253 so now I have some data to use for Q2 to measure against. I can also see which of my habits I do more often, and which less often. This has led me to reflect on what I might change and do differently to build the habits further, but also to check and see if that’s a habit that’s important or whether it should be taken off the list. In the end I decided they’re all important and none were removed, but that I do need some more visual cues for some of them so I’m moving my weights so they’re in my eyeline, putting my running shoes in a similar place, and my cold swim gear in the car so it’s ready to go for a dip whenever I am.
I find it really easy to forgot the little positive consistent steps I take every day and so marking them off on my tracker reminds me. I did also have a jar for a few weeks that I would put a coffee bean into for each habit ticked off each day but keeping that up felt like a chore and it wasn’t accurate, and I couldn’t see the break down. Now I can do all of those things and it’s helped me make tweaks and improvements.
As we start the second quarter of the year it’s a good time to reflect on your goals, and consider your habits and how they’re helping you move towards them. Is there anything you want to tweak or improve? Are they working for your personality type or do you need to make some changes? Sometimes a bit of reflection and course correction is all that’s needed to get you back on track.