Most of us, at some point in our lives, have come across difficult people, but having someone difficult in the workplace usually means two things:
1. You’re stuck with them for a lot of your waking hours, and
2. You can’t tell them to what you really think. That would be unprofessional, and regardless of how obnoxious they are themselves they usually know how to play the game in a sly (but comes across as angelic) kind of way.
Annoying, isn’t it. We’ve all been there.
Here’s what you need to do instead:
1. Keep your emotions under control. The best way to do this is to make sure you have a life outside of work and don’t give it up easily just to do a bit extra. Face it, there will always be more to do than hours in the day. If you have plans, you’re more likely to leave work on time and be distracted from whatever the pressing issue of the day was. You’ll be more resilient if you have balance in your life, and more able to stay in control in the moment. When something happens, get immediately under control by making sure you take deep breaths before you do anything.
2. Recognise that whatever is going on is not personal, it’s not about you. More likely it’s about how the difficult colleagues feels and what they are projecting on to you. Maybe it’s their insecurity about their lack of competence and they are trying to deflect attention from themselves. Maybe they’re jealous of what you’ve achieved and it’s making them feel that they’re lacking in some way, so they’re acting up. Whatever it is, you can’t and shouldn’t hide your light because it makes someone else feel threatened. Keep doing what you do.
3. Consider talking to them about what’s going on. Do it privately, rather than calling them out in public. Take them for a coffee ideally so you’re in a relaxed environment. Provide specific examples of their behaviour, so rather than saying you always interrupt me, tell them that they interrupted you three times in that meeting and it meant you weren’t able to get your point across. Now, some folk have very thick skins and this might not work but my thoughts are that it’s always better to try. If nothing else they will learn you’ve noticed their behaviour and are prepared to do something about it. Which might give them second thoughts next time.
4. If all else fails, bring in the big guns. Talk to your boss or someone senior and sympathetic, and get their help in handling the situation. They might be already aware of it. Even if they’re not, they can help you figure out how best to handle it.
Lastly, it’s worth your time and effort in dealing with your difficult colleague as chances are you’re going to come across another, whatever walk of life you’re in. Once you’ve dealt with one you’ll be better equipped next time.
