Asking for help is one of the things that resilient people do. They recognise they can’t do everything on their own and they know there is power in sharing a burden.
The issue is, when we’re in challenging times and we’re stressed and just trying to get through the day, we can accidentally isolate ourselves. We put off making plans with friends and family because we’ve just got too much on.
We think that if we just put all our effort into this issue that we have, we’ll get through it. Whether it’s excess workload, competing deadlines, a medical issue, caring responsibilities, it’s too much for us alongside everything else, and so we give up on some of the things that would help. A sign that you’re struggling is when you tell yourself that you just need to get through this.
You stop doing the things you love, the things you’d enjoy, and everything becomes focused on this one major issue. Its really difficult to see that when you’re in it though.
But think about it this way. If you knew that one of your close friends or family members was going through a tough time, would you want to help them? And If you suspected they were struggling but they didn’t tell you? How would you feel?
When we’re going through a stressful situation, we become more self centred. It’s a survival mechanism and we focus on what we need to do to keep our head above the water. When we’re thinking straight we’re more likely to ask for help. But when we’re in a negative spiral we can let feelings of shame and embarrassment stop us. We don’t want even our closest friends to know we haven’t got it all together. But really, if it was one of your close friends, would you care that they didn’t have it all together or would you want to do whatever you can to help them? I know I would want to help and I think that’s true of most people.
I’ve seen for myself that despite how busy people are, they will make time to do things for others because they want to help them feel better, and because we also feel good knowing we’ve made a difference to someone.
There is so much strength is asking for help, and seeking it out can make a huge difference in how quickly you bounce back from adversity. There are always helpers. They might come from the most unexpected places but if you look, you’ll find them.