Pricing, and the value of coaching.

Pricing is one of those tricky subjects that people often don’t like talking about, it’s very uncouth isn’t it. I do love that word, uncouth! It translates as lacking good manners, refinement or grace (according to that font of all knowledge that is google). What on earth did we do before google?! Anyway, talking about money is frowned upon, and talking about pricing is not dissimilar. But I’m going to take the bull by the horns and address it, because I think it’s time it was discussed.

When we buy something, and part with our hard earned cash, we expect something of appropriate value in return. As I write this, I’m wearing a T-shirt that I love and I picked up for a fiver from Primark. It caught my eye because it says “Don’t Quit” on the front. I liked the colour (it’s grey, I have a thing for the colour grey...some days I’m head to toe!) and thought it might encourage me to work harder in the gym. But it was only a fiver, so if it bobbles or doesn’t wash particularly well, or if some thread comes away, I won’t fret. I don’t expect much from it.  

Compare that to my new watch. It’s a Michael Kors smart watch, and was in the hundreds of pounds. I love it because it looks smart, tells me my step count, and keeps me easily up to date with my notifications. And of course, it tells the time. However, the battery life is not great. Which has left me very underwhelmed. I don’t get those benefits I’ve outlined above when the battery runs out, which is most days. I charge it overnight but by mid afternoon it’s out of charge. So I’ve taken to carrying the charger around with me and plugging it in over lunch. But it’s an inconvenience and given what it cost, I don’t feel I’m getting the value from it that I should. My expectations were (and are) higher, because of the price I paid. 

So, when I don’t pay a lot for something, I perceive the value to be lower. My expectations are more Primark T-shirt and less Micheal Kors! Now that value might not pan out that way, as in the above example, but it forms the basis for my expectations. 

The value that we place on something also impacts our thoughts and actions. I wrote in a blog a couple of weeks go about the care I take over my more expensive coats than my supermarket chic versions, and this is an important point to make. If you invest a lot in something, you will take it more seriously. You will take action because it’s a lot of money to waste if you don’t.

Let’s just translate this into investing in something to get a certain result, for example if the outcome you want is to get a new job. If you invest in a book for example, you might pay around a fiver, so it’s kind of the equivalent of the Primark t-shirt. It might be packed with value and lay out everything you need to do to get a new job. But it relies on you reading it and taking action and working out anything that’s not black and white on your own. Which I’m sure you’re capable of doing, but it’s harder (otherwise we’d all buy books, read them, and transform everything from our weight to our culinary skills!). And you’ve only invested five pounds, so it’s not a big deal if you don’t take action. You haven’t really lost anything, and there’s nothing to hold you accountable. 

In comparison, investing in a coach to help you get those results is a significant investment. But in making that investment, you show up. You take action, even if it’s scary, because you’ve made the commitment. Much like you treat the expensive coat well, you take your goal seriously. You make the time to do the things you need to, because it’s important. 

One of the business owners I work with has something she calls “bugger off” pricing, which is basically that given all of her experience and knowledge, she knows it’s good value and so if someone doesn’t want to pay it they can, well, you get the gist! As a coach, my fee is not to cover my time spent coaching. My fee is for the years of experience and knowledge I’ve developed so that I can get you the results you want. My pricing is set so that you’ll show up and take action and get the results you want. 

At the end of the day, it’s a value consideration. If you invest in the coaching, will you get the right return on your investment? Perhaps the results you want include a higher salary, like Laura. She secured a promotion and a significant pay rise. She sought help because she knew the result she wanted and she knew she’d be more likely to achieve it with some help. When you’re considering investing, you need to think about what the return would be and how quickly the investment would pay back.  

Something else to consider is what NOT investing is going to cost you. What is it costing you to stay where you are? You might not be able to put a pounds and pence figure on it but just reflect on that question. If you don’t get the results you want then where will that leave you? For example, if you want to apply for a new job and you don’t get it, how will you feel? What will be the impact on you? Or worse, not even applying because you’ve ruled yourself out before you even start. If there’s something you want and you can do something that will help you get there, it’s worth thinking carefully about doing it.

I want to end by saying that I love coaching, and helping people achieve the results they want. And to do that, to be able to help people, I need to charge a fee that means you show up, and I show up. And if you question whether it’s worth it, think about what those results are worth to you and then decide whether you’ll get a good return on your investment. Only you can make that decision. 

If you’d like results like Laura’s and you’re ready to invest in yourself, you can book a discovery call here.   

Consistent action and momentum (aka streaking)

Let me be honest from the outset, I’m a rebel. That’s a bona fide personality type from Gretchin Rubin’s four tendencies assessment, and it’s the tendency I have.  

When it came out as rebel, it really didn’t surprise me. I don’t like routine. At all. The thought of every day being the same, or even eating the same breakfast every day, makes me shudder. I don’t like making plans. That doesn’t mean I don’t like having fun and things to look forward to, but I don’t like being held to commitments, even those I’ve made. Yes, I’ll even rebel again myself! 

For a time this made life difficult for me, because my rebel behaviour bothered me. Why couldn’t I just say I was going to go to the gym on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday and just do that? Honestly, life would be much easier. But I’ve realised that my preference for variety and spontaneity is much greater. And I’ve learned to decide I’ll go to the gym three times this week, but it’s better to play fast and loose about when that actually is. Science might say that you’re more likely to achieve it if it’s scheduled, but my brain needs tricking into going so it can’t spend all day Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday looking for reasons not to go the next day!  

I would say the word rebel fits me quite nicely, and I’m learning to wear it with pride. 

But I have to confess, it’s held me back. Especially in my business. The overarching message from everything I’ve learnt in business is that consistency is key. The most important thing you can do is to pick a platform, and show up consistently. Whether it’s write a blog every week on a Wednesday or do a Facebook live every week on a Saturday. And that’s something I haven’t committed to (yet). Because I know that as soon as I say I’m going to do it, I’ll start to find ways to rebel against it and not do it. 

I’ve been working on this consistency challenge recently though, and I’ve had a good amount of success. I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve started meditating, but you might not know that the app I use shows my meditating streak (so the number of days in a row I’ve meditated). Every so many days that streak unlocked another level, until 100 days when all were unlocked. Yes, I managed to meditate consistently for 100 days in a row. I was very chuffed with that, and felt like it had developed into a habit which was what I was trying to do.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and the app crashed. When I got it working again, it had reset me to day 1. I tried to find contact details and started to write an email to see if I could get it resolved, and then I had a word with myself. It’s a free app. These things happen. It’s a habit now. I could just start again from today, and I’d know the streak was longer. 

I made my peace with it, and guess what? The bloody thing updated and my 120+ day streak returned! I could digress here about letting go of trivial matters and then they resolve themselves but I won’t. Other than this mention!

Anyway, I went merrily along feeling like the streak was a habit until, one night I was away from home and so a bit out of the usual routine (or as routine as it gets for me) and I forgot to meditate. It was a busy day, with lots going on and I’d become absorbed in all of that, and it just went out of my head. I realised the next day I’d lost my streak, and I was a bit gutted, truth be told. But then I reflected, and realised it had felt odd not doing it, like something was missing. I just hadn’t been able to put my finger on what at that time. So it was a habit. And I’d just start a new streak and continue, and I have. The new streak is now 11 days and counting. 

 Anyway, back to being consistent in my business. I realised I needed to be far more consistent but in a way that works for me and my rebel tendencies! I just hadn’t worked out how to do that. It was coming up to lent, and someone I follow on social media wrote a great post about what you could add for lent that would improve your business.

I thought about the meditating streak and thought about what I need to do more of in my business and I settled on creating a new habit of writing. So every day during lent, I am writing something. And yes, I’m deliberately keeping that fast and loose! I haven’t said I’m going to write a blog every day, because there are days like yesterday when things don’t go to plan and I manage a paragraph, and a short one at that. But there’s days like today when I knock out a decent draft of a blog post on a subject I want to talk about and it helps me prepare for a Facebook live too. 

And all before 8am on a Saturday. Yes, today I feel like I’m winning at life. Yesterday, not so much!!  

So here’s the thing. Writing something consistently every day means I’ve got blogs and posts ready to share. I’m not starting from a point where I need to work out what I want to say, turns out I have a few ideas and can ramble on about them a fair bit (if you’re still reading, thank you!). And when it’s there and ready, taking the short step to share it is much easier. Which means I’m putting a lot more out there. Not consistently every Wednesday, because I’d rebel about that. But consistently a couple of times a week. And that works for me.  Consistency compounds, momentum builds, and the reward for your investment (whatever in) becomes exponential. 

The latest streak I’m working on is exercise, and either hitting the gym or getting out for a walk every day. This one isn’t in double figures (yet) but I reckon I’ve got the tools I need to build another good habit and I plan to use consistency and the power of momentum to keep chipping away at this too. 

I’m sure that when lent ends, I’ll keep writing every day, because I’m seeing and feeling the benefits. I know I’ll continue to meditate for the same reason. And exercise. And I think that’s enough to be getting on with for now! I should mention that I gave up crisps for lent too, although I accidentally had three hula hoops earlier in the week (completely forgotten I’d given them up!). I’m pretty sure I’ll eat them again once lent is over, I think I’ve got enough positive habits on the go at the moment! 

Building habits that support your goals is one of the tools I use when I coach. So my question to you is, what positive habit to do you want to build? And how can you start a streak to take you consistently towards that? Remember, set the bar at a level you can achieve on a bad day, so you can build consistency and momentum and let the compounding help you grow your progress exponentially. And if you’d like an extra helping hand, you can find out more about working with me if you click here.

My shiny new trainers which are getting less shiny by the day….

What’s a mastermind? And is it related to the game show? (No😂🙈!)

The first time I heard someone mention Mastermind on a podcast a couple of years ago, I honestly thought they meant the game show. I’m sure most of you know the one, you have your turn in the chair for a general knowledge round and then another for a specialty subject of your choice (the breadth of which determines your relative success from my observation!) . I do enjoy a bit of trivia and it’s fun trying to answer random questions on random subjects. I’m sure it’s good for your brain too?! 🤷‍♀️

Anyway the point I’m making is that when I first heard about the concept of a Mastermind I didn’t really know what it was, and I thought you might be in the same boat so I’d write a blog to explain more.

Napoleon Hill talks about Mastermind’s in his book Think and Grow Rich as a group of people who have the knowledge you don’t have that you can tap into. For example he talks about Henry Ford not being the most educated person but creating an environment where he is surrounded by experts that he can tap into at the touch of a button. So if you’re running a company, like Mr Ford, you don’t need to have the knowledge yourself necessarily. But you need access to it, you need to know where to go to find out the things you don’t know. Some of that might be from hiring the right team. But another way is to participate in a Mastermind group.

The first time I was part of a mastermind, it was kind of sprung on me, which also turned out to be the way I ran my first mastermind too. It’s a good way to start because it cuts through all the BS of self doubt and not being good enough, that inner voice that keeps us safe by playing safe. I was at a networking event and as part of that there was a mini mastermind where we all took five minutes in the hot seat.

Five whole minutes. Everyone focused on your business, your challenge. You’re not actually sat in a black chair with the spotlight on you but that’s how it can feel! And that’s why not having too long to think about it the first time is a good thing, because we might talk ourselves out of it! And what a shame that would be. Do not underestimate the value of engaging with a group of people face to face (in person or virtually) to give you feedback and advice and ideas. 

In the years since I started my business I’ve invested a lot in my personal development and online courses and programmes and I’ve learnt such a lot from these. But what the weekly calls or the Facebook group support didn’t give me was the ability to talk through my biggest challenges and get different perspectives. I can hand on heart say that I got more from five minutes in the hot seat talking through my challenge and getting input and ideas from like minded business folk and experts in their field than I did from all of the online courses put together. Yes, they taught me a great deal of the theory and got me thinking a lot but they didn’t push me to take action. I didn’t have a tribe behind me validating my thoughts and cheering me on. Or maybe they were there in the online space but because I couldn’t see them and look them in the eye, they didn’t seem as real. As they say, two heads are better than one. Well let me say that I think the effect multiplies! 

And it’s not just your time in the hot seat that you get the value from. Not at all. As you’re sat listening to everyone else talk through their challenges, and you’re supporting them with your experience, it strikes you that you do, actually, know a thing or two. Plus it gives you an insight into problems you don’t yet have. And ideas you haven’t yet thought of. 

A mastermind group will help you raise your game. It will keep you accountable for doing the things you said you’d do. And it will challenge you to do the things you aren’t sure you can, because you’ll build relationships with people who will believe in you and help you to believe in yourself. 

A mastermind can be an affordable way to work with a business coach as they will likely be running the session and contributing their advice and experience too. But don’t be fooled that it’s always the cheaper option. There are high level masterminds that cost the same as a house if you have that sort of money to invest. 

I’m part of a few networking groups too, and I think these are great, please don’t get me wrong. Informal networking is a fantastic way to meet more people and get your business in front of a wider community. I absolutely do this too. But I don’t think I’d find it appropriate to discuss my biggest business challenges openly in such a group setting, and I wouldn’t expect everyone to spend their valuable time on my issues.

The point of a mastermind is that the structure around it makes sure everyone gets value. The same amount of time in that good old hot seat. And the same attention and contribution paid to them in return. To be part of a mastermind is to be part of a small community that helps each other, celebrates one another’s successes, and supports each other through the challenges too, whatever they are. 

I’ve been in my current mastermind group for three months now. We know each other, we support each other, we ask the awkward questions to each other that make us flinch a little bit (literally me last week!) but face what’s really happening for us. We have light bulb moments, notice procrastination, call out playing small, and instead of tackling them ourselves we face them head on. Together.  

There’s something very powerful about community (and a little competition too). If you’re a business owner and would like to join my mastermind group and grow your business, click here to get on the wait list.  

Great things happen when you are surrounded by like-minded folk that have your back and inspire you take action.

What is a Discovery (or Introduction) call and what should I expect from it?

When you’re considering working with a coach, it’s important that you are a good fit with each other. Now, in theory any coach should be able to coach any client, but we all just seem to gel better with some people more than others, and when we’re coaching it’s useful to be on the same wavelength. 

The way I think of a discovery call is kind of like a job interview. And I think of a job interview as a two way process. So the employer is hiring and looking to find the right person for their team. But also the potential employee is interviewing their future leader too. Much like you can’t choose your family, you can’t always choose your boss...sometimes circumstances dictate and you’re gifted someone. But if you’re applying for a new job, the interview is your opportunity to make sure this is someone that you can work with (and for). 

In my mind, this is the same with a discovery call. By which I mean that, as the coach I’m thinking about how we will gel and whether we’re a good fit to work together. I’ve had training in a number of differently personality type tests over the years and so during the call I’ll be looking for clues about yours. Don’t let that freak you out though, I’m not judging! It just helps me to get to know your personality and that’s one part of the equation. If you’ve done a personality test and you’re a cut-to-the-chase type of person, feel free to just tell me where you sit on whichever spectrum 😂

So, that’s one part of the call. Another important one to me is that you are serious about achieving your goal. By which I mean it’s not just a pipe dream, but it’s well thought through. You’re prepared to make sacrifices to get there, rather than tell me you don’t have time to follow up and take action because you’re in the middle of a gripping Netflix box set. And I love a box set as much as the next person, I really do. I just watch them very occasionally when I have the time to get drawn in, like when I’m on holiday. Designated survivor is the latest fave in case you’re looking for a recommendation while you’re here! Save it until you’re on holiday though (!)

One of the other key things I’m looking to find out is what you’ve already done so far about your goals. Are you trying and failing, or is something stopping you trying? These are important because the first shows you’re an action taker but you’d likely benefit from working with someone who has the right experience and can guide the way so you start doing more of the right things to take you to your goal.

The second is something that’s very common. Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. I get it. I’ve been there. And I can help you get to the other side too. I’m not saying I can take away every ounce of self doubt, but I can help you take action, and stand behind you when you’re doing the scary thing, cheering you on and reminding you exactly what you’re capable of. Because we seem to forget. We play down our accomplishments. We’ve been taught not to show off, not to brag, that being over confident is cocky and sets us up for a fall. So when we achieve something, we brush it off. To ourselves as much as everyone else. We don’t pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves for being bloody awesome. Even when what we’ve done was really hard, because we can see the things we should have done differently. We remember what a struggle it was. We think that good only looks like ace-ing it immediately without a hair out of place. The overnight success story.

Well that’s not true. The years of work that went into the overnight success story are what counts. I want to know you’re in this for the hard yards too and if you are, I reckon I can help you tap into what you’ve already achieved to help you go further and quieten down that self doubt. I don’t think it ever goes away, at least not in my experience, because we keep growing. When we achieve a goal we don’t stop there. We look for the next one. And the doubt creeps in again. But we can get very good at recognising it and stopping it from holding us back. 

The final thing I’m looking for in a discovery call is whether you are ready to invest in yourself. Put your money where your mouth is, so to speak. Honestly, I love coaching, I could (and did) happily do it for free. The problem is that not charging (enough) seriously limits my ability to have a positive impact, not just on you, but on everyone I want to serve. And you know we don’t value the stuff we get for free. Or cheap.

I have two very lovely designer coats, and at the end of winter they are dry cleaned and lovingly and carefully stored away until next winter. I also have a supermarket-chic coat that was a steal and which I know will go through summer balled up in a bag in the loft. I take care of the good coats because I invested in them. Hundreds of pounds each. I thought long and hard before I bought them. And I love them both, my black Vivienne Westwood coat that dresses anything up and looks stylish and timeless, and my navy Ted baker coat with rose gold trim and a subtle sparkle that runs through it that makes me feel more polished whenever I put it on, even over jeans and trainers. 

And that really sums up the point of a discovery call. You’re investing in something that will transform your life. Think long and hard about the choice you make, so you know it’s the right one. When you make that investment, you’ll need to make it worthwhile. Like wearing the coat to recoup the investment, you need to take action to get the value from your coaching. And you will. Excuses will fall away, because you’re committed. And that’s when you get results. 

So, when you sign up for the discovery call, come prepared to talk about what you want, and why you want it. Not to justify it, but to help me understand what’s driving you. Be prepared to talk about how badly you want this. And be prepared to do the majority of the talking. My role is to ask questions, probe, and find out more so that we know if I’m the right coach for you, and you’re the right client for me. Because, like that job interview, we both need to agree it’s the right thing. 

If you’d like to book a discovery call there’s a form on the “work with me” page of my website. I look forward to our mutual interview!  

What should I expect in my first coaching session?

This question could mean a couple of different things so I’m going to be clear that when I talk about your first coaching session in this blog, I mean the first session you have with a coach that’s not a discovery call.  To find out more about discovery calls click here to read my blog post specifically on that subject.

So, you’ve had an initial conversation with a coach, sometimes called an introduction or discovery call, and you’ve decided to work with them. What can you expect from the first session?  

Well, you’ve probably laid some of the groundwork in the introduction or discovery call already. When I host these calls, it’s important to me to understand what the coachee wants to achieve, so I know how I can help them.  

The coachee probably talked about what they want to achieve at a fairly high level, so in the first coaching call, the coach will want to explore this in a lot more detail. 

To help you achieve your goals, we need to get really clear on them, because as they say, you can’t hit a target you can’t see. So the coach is probably going to ask you a lot of questions that will get you thinking in more detail about what you want specifically. 

Now if you’re anything like the majority of my clients, once you’ve articulated what you want in the discovery call, chances are you’ve then gone on to think about it more and your goals have evolved further already since then. That’s good, because thinking about what you want is an instruction to your brain. When you get clear about what you want, your brain, clever thing it is, helps you to get it. It starts to notice things that might help. And then points them out to you, often in the form of lightbulb moments and great ideas!  

A good coach will use the first coaching session to really get this foundation right so that you’re clear what you want to move towards. Now, it’s not going to be tattooed on your forehead. It can, and likely will, change. But to change, you need to have something down in the first place.  

I’ve mentioned questions already, but it’s likely that in the first session you have, you’ll be asked a lot of questions, to help you get more specific about that goal, and to help you explore it further. 

Now if you like to be well organised and ahead of the game, you might be thinking that a list of the questions would be great, so you can prepare for the session? Well actually, it’s not that straightforward.

Firstly, the questions will evolve naturally based on the content of the session, so it’s not a repeatable approach. Every session is unique and whilst there is a framework used (I use GROW, read more about that here), no two sessions are the same.

Secondly, sometimes these questions might make you uncomfortable. When you’re setting and working towards goals, it can be hard. Doubts creep in. Beliefs you don’t know you have limit your thoughts and your responses. It’s the coaches job to guide you through this, and for want of a better phrase, “hold the space” for you. All that means is create an environment when you can explore what’s going on for you and feel uncomfortable but with someone else there to support and help you do that. To help you feel it and work through it. Sounds naff though doesn’t it, hold the bloody space?! 🤣

I think we can agree that all of this is going to make for an intense session, but that’s what you’re paying for. You’re paying for the results you want and the expertise of the coach to get you those results. Staying in your comfort zone is not going to get you where you want to be. If you want someone to tell you what you want to hear, well don’t come to me, or any other good coach. Harsh maybe, but true nonetheless.

Finally, given that you want to get the most out of your session, it’s best you are on the ball. When I’m being coached, I like to take fifteen minutes before  (I block it out of my diary) getting into the right frame of mind to be coached. I find somewhere quiet, and make sure I won’t be disturbed or distracted. I make sure I have a glass of water, and a pen and paper to write things down. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths and find this really helps me to leave my day behind for a little while.

When you’re paying for someone to help you achieve your goals, you don’t want to turn up late, harassed, and feel on the wrong foot from the outset, so a pre-coaching chill out habit is a good one to build. 

I hope that helps you feel prepared for your first coaching session. If you have any questions that I haven’t covered please do pop me an email.  

What exactly is coaching and why do I need it?

I had my first taste of coaching through a leadership course that I went on through work almost a decade ago and I can honestly say that it changed my life. Coaching was one part of the course but it was the part that resonated with me the most and I can still vividly remember sitting in a meeting room in the Marriott hotel with a notepad on my knee, scribbling down the answers to a blind coaching session, one part of my brain completely absorbed and another doing a little jig of excitement because this process was amazing!  

Coaching is, in a nutshell, the process of helping someone to help themselves. A good coach finds the right question to ask to make the coachee think more deeply, and helps them see things from a different perspective. A good coaching session is centered on the coachee, with the coach guiding them through the process using a series of questions. One of the most common frameworks for these questions is GROW. 

G is for Goal - working out what goal the coachee wants to achieve. Often balanced between long term goals and short term goals that will take them in the right direction but break the overall goal down to make it more achievable. 

R is for Reality - so where the coachee is now, what they’ve already done to achieve that goal, what’s going on for them right now. 

O is for Options - all of the things they could do, all of the potential courses of action they could take. The idea here is to get as many options as possible on the table and don’t filter them. Ideas breed ideas so the more the merrier. It’s usually when coachees say they can’t think of any more ideas that another great one pops up! 

W is for Way Forward - what is it the coachee is going to do? Which option will they take forward? The key here is to get something scheduled in for next Wednesday at 2pm rather than “next week”, because guess which one is more likely to happen? Yep, scheduled! 

Sometimes the framework used is called T-GROW where T stands for topic and is used before goal to narrow the focus of the session if necessary.  

Ultimately, the outcome of the coaching session should be that the coachee has not only set a goal, but also worked out how and when they will achieve it, and identified what might stop them and how they can prevent that happening. 

So, that’s the mechanics of a coaching session, and whilst it sounds on paper very join-the-dots, in reality it really isn’t. The framework is just that, a framework. It’s there  to be flexible and support the coach in getting to the right outcome. Often, rather than going in a straight line, it’s a messy squiggle, as the coachee starts to think beyond what they’d considered and explore more broadly, for example why do they want that goal, what is it going to give them? Which course of action will get them there more quickly? One of the huge benefits of coaching is that it raises awareness in the coachee, helping them to better understand themselves by considering their reasons behind the goals they’re setting. Getting under the skin of this usually means goals change and develop as the coaching process progresses, but that’s a good thing! Who wants to achieve their goals and realise it wasn’t really what they wanted when they got there?! 

Now is a good time to put out there what coaching isn’t. It’s not giving advice, because unless you’re in the coachees shoes, you just don’t know what the right advice for them is. The coachee is the expert in their life and the coaches job is to support them in making the right decisions for them, not in telling them what to do, or what they, the coach, would do.  

Coaching is not about breaking people down, it’s about building them up. Much like a coach shouldn’t give advice, nor should they criticise. Seeking permission to give feedback to the coachee is a good way to ask if it’s wanted before it’s shared, and a good coach will do this. And a good coach will share feedback carefully, and from a place which helps the coachee use it to get to their goals. 

Coaching is also not about the coach. The coaches job is to listen and guide the coachee, so be wary of any coach that talks about themselves excessively. And by excessive here I mean that unless there is a real point to be made, it’s not usually helpful. The coachee is the star of the show.  

That said, whilst it’s important that the coachee does most of the talking, it’s also necessary to make sure their valuable time is well spent and they stay on topic, so a good coach will manage that process. Which might mean stopping the coachee from sharing unnecessary stories and going off on a tangent. It’s not rude (and the interruption should be pre agreed upfront) it’s good coaching to guide the coachee back to the point.  

So, why do you need coaching? Well, the short answer is that you don’t need it. You will get on just fine without it, and you’ll probably continue on the trajectory you’re on today, whatever that may be. The point of coaching is to help you decide if that trajectory is right for you, by helping you to work out what it is you really want. The second part is about helping you achieve that far sooner than you would if you were doing it on your own.  

Let’s take the first part, working out what you really want. Sometimes the trajectory we’re on has been set by our younger self, influenced by parents perhaps, by circumstances, by our lack of confidence in ourselves and our capabilities. As we go through life and tackle new challenges, we might start to realise we’ve sold ourselves short. We’ve played safe when we know we can do more. Maybe it’s time to fulfil your potential. Maybe you look successful on the outside but in reality you’d much rather spend your time being creative. Or do something vocational. Whatever it is, a coach will help you get clear on what you want and then help you form a plan to get there. 

A coach will also help you get to where you want to be faster. For years I thought this wasn’t the case and I could get there on my own just as quickly, but what I realised was the thing that stands in our way the most is... us! Without a coach to support you, hold you accountable, and help you get past your own BS, you will hit walls. You will talk yourself out of doing the hard things. You will miss your own deadlines because, guess what, you set them so you can rearrange them. You’ll second guess and doubt yourself and then beat yourself up for not making the progress you wanted. We are funny creatures at times! I’m not saying you’ll never get there, but I honestly believe that you’ll get there far quicker and take a more direct route if you work with a coach. 

I hope that’s helped you to get a better understanding of what to expect from coaching and why you’d benefit. If you’d like to work with me to achieve your goals, book a discovery call (read more about what that is here). Link to book is here.

What I’ve learnt from the corporate world that helps me in my business

Earlier this month I was guest speaker at the meeting of the Mums in Business Association (MIBA) Durham and Teesside branch and I shared with them a few things I’ve learnt in the corporate world that have really helped me in my own business.

Now those of us who’ve set up our own businesses often focus on the things we want to do differently from our day jobs, and usually these things include having more freedom, more flexibility, answering to ourselves, choosing who we spend time with, all of those types of things.  

But it’s important to recognise that those of us who have a day job are usually* employed by a successful business and so there are a lot of learnings we can take from those businesses and apply to our own to help us be successful too. 

The first area I covered was a way of working known as agile. Now, it’s originally from a project management methodology but it’s fair to say aspects of agile are used interchangeably with the aim of speeding things up  (“can we be more agile?” usually translates as “can we do it faster?” in my experience!). Going faster is only good if you’re headed in the right direction, so really understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing is the first step.

As an example, writing a blog post is only helpful if you know why you are writing it, what message you want to share, and why your reader needs to hear that. When you ask yourself those questions, you get really clear on the purpose and value of the action you are taking, which makes it much easier to take the action, and know when it’s done. 

When you know why you are doing something, you can then think about the value of that outcome. In most jobs and businesses (and in life!) there is usually far more to do than time allows. I have long lists of tasks and ideas but I don’t get lost in them because I prioritise them based on that value. It’s not an exact science, but by asking myself “why am I doing this?” helps me focus on the outcome, and the value of that outcome. When we focus on outcomes we get stuff done. 

One of the principles of agile that I think is  key for those new to business is the focus on tangible outcomes. What that means is that your time is focused on working to complete a specific output that adds value. In practice this means that instead of saying “I’m going to work on my business all weekend” we say “I’m going to create X” where X can be a blog post or an email to your subscribers for example. You have something tangible at the end that confirms you’ve done what you said you would, which is the result of the time you’ve spent working. Doing it this way round focuses you on doing the right things, those that add value, and even better, you finish the things that you start. The process forces you to produce, and to be productive you need to produce! And scrolling through social media, well we all know that’s not productive. 

When we talk about agile we also often use  the acronym MVP which stands for minimum viable product. Which sounds far more complicated than it is. All it means is asking yourself what is the least that can be done for this tangible deliverable to be of value. So taking an email to your subscribers, your MVP might be an email that shares something helpful with them. It’s like stripping what you’re doing back to basics. You don’t need a logo to send an email out. You don’t need a fancy email signature. You don’t need to write 5 well thought out paragraphs. They *might* add extra value but you don’t necessarily need them and if you  let the absence of them stop you sending the email then you’re blocking the value that your customer might get if you just sent the no frills version out. Your customer might really need to hear that, today. 

Another of the principles of agile is iteration. Basically, get a good enough something done and out there, and then make incremental changes to make it better.  I did this with my website, tweaking it regularly and adding pages as I went along. Sometimes it’s easier to see what changes we need to make when we have a starter for ten version. 

Taking this approach also helps us to stop procrastinating and seeking perfection. One of the biggest problems I see in my clients is they don’t get stuff done because they don’t think it’s good enough. Putting stuff out there that you’ve created makes you vulnerable, to people commenting, judging, and criticising.

It’s not easy, I know that. As I write this I’m in exactly the same position! I’m doubting myself, questioning who am I to write about this, expecting criticism even. Completely irrational but from an evolutionary perspective our fears are there, whether founded or not, to keep us safe. I get past these by knowing why I’m writing something, and what the value is (to share ideas that other people might find helpful when setting up a side business, so that they take action and don’t procrastinate!), I know what my deadline is (more on that later) and I know that it’s a message people want to hear as the lovely MIBA audience kindly gave ace reviews when I shared it with them too.

And you know what? There’s a saying about people who are critical always reserving the most criticism for themselves, so I like to remind myself of that when I worry about what others think. But honestly, not everyone will like what you write. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make it less valuable to those that do. 

Anyway back to agile and another of the aspects of it which helps avoid procrastination and perfection and that’s time boxing. Basically chunking down the work you need to do into manageable amounts. So whatever the tangible deliverable is, finishing a good enough version of it within that allocated time. It’s human nature to work to a deadline, and it’s something I use to help me get stuff done.

This is exactly what I do:

1. Work out what my tangible value-adding deliverable is. For example, writing a blog.

2. List all the steps I need to take to do it. Using the blog example again that would include everything I need to do to get that blog finished, from decide on the topic, do research, write key points, proof read, post it. 

3. Assign a time to the steps I’ve listed, basically how long should each one take.

4. Group them into timeslots that I work in, so usually for me that’s 40 minutes.

5. Schedule the timeslots into my diary, so I know when I’m going to get these all done. 

Once this is done, I know that I’m going to meet my deadline and time won’t run away with me because I’ll be focused on what I need to do in the time that I have. Now yes, sometimes life gets in the way, but once I’ve done the work to decide when this all slots in, it’s much harder to procrastinate or give up the time to do something, because it’s a hard plan with a finite amount of time associated with each task.

So I think I’ve banged the drum enough about agile, so swiftly moving on to something that absolutely complements it,  Lean. Lean started in the manufacturing industry and is used widely in business these days to drive efficiency. One of the aspects of lean that works very nicely with agile is called flow. It’s that state you’re in when you’re focused on one thing and nothing is going to distract you, you’re fully absorbed in what you’re doing.

When you’re in the state of flow, you do great work. The problem is that in these modern times where technology is constantly buzzing, and distractions are aplenty, we suffer regular interruptions and our work can suffer as a result. For years we’ve worn multitasking as a badge of pride, but neuroscience has proven that we’re not actually doing multiple tasks at once, we’re instead switching from one to the other. And repeatedly switching our focus takes up significantly more brain power. 

The key to getting in flow is to remove all the distractions. Turn off notifications. Put your phone somewhere you can’t see it. Ideally take yourself off somewhere you can’t do anything else. I have an office at home but if I want to do great work, I go to my gym and sit in the quiet area and find time flies and I’m focused and productive. Before I know it I’ve tackled whatever was challenging me and I’ve created something I’m proud of. That’s flow. Use flow to create the tangible value-adding deliverable and it’s probably going to be better quality too. 

Another fundamental part of Lean that I swear by is simplification. So many clients that I work with overcomplicate things unnecessarily, so if that’s you, then stop. Please. Whatever your business is, whatever it is you’re doing, make it as simple as you can. Don’t learn this the hard way. Trust me, it’s painful. 

Another lesson I shared from the corporate world was what gets measured gets done. In most of the jobs I’ve had (not all, see the asterisk again!) there have been targets and tracking against those targets. I’ve had it drummed into me over the years that metrics matter, and whilst I didn’t always appreciate the importance, in my own business I make it a priority. I know my audience size, my conversion rates, you name it and I can tell you what it is, and what I want it to be. 

Regular progress reviews are also important. I like to work out my long term goals, then break them down to an annual goal, and break that down on a monthly basis. I find a month is a good amount of time, I’ve tried measuring progress daily and weekly and find these too often, they take up time that can be better spent doing something more value adding, but that’s just my opinion.  

 Right, that was a lot of information, so a quick recap for you! 

- Prioritise based on value

- Focus on creating something tangible and finish it, even if it’s an imperfect version

- List your actions and schedule them in

- Rid yourself of distractions and work in flow

- Give yourself a deadline

- Make everything as simple as possible

- Be specific about what you want

- Measure progress regularly 

I hope you found this article helpful. I’d love to know if you have any more tips so please let me know in the comments!  

*I say usually because I was reminded recently of a job I had working for a company who were privately owned and had made a loss for 11 years in a row when I joined them, and suffice to say I didn’t singlehandedly turn it around! The finance director wasn’t concerned about this and didn’t think I should be either, but I was! Surely the point of working in a business, either your own or as an employee, is to make it successful and that includes positively impacting the bottom line 🤷‍♀️ 

What sort of business should I start?

I always knew I wanted my own business. In fact, in one of my first jobs after graduating, the team I worked with bought me Richard Branson’s autobiography as a parting gift. I still have it, and I’m reading it again at the moment (to see if it gives me a different perspective now I have my own business). But the first time I read it I remember being really disappointed! See, whilst I’d always wanted to run my own business, I just didn’t recognise myself in any part of the story. Savvy businessman he might be, but reading his story I was struck by how ruthless he seemed, how single minded. How he seemed to put business before relationships, friends, before everything.

I was reminded of this recently when I was listening to a podcast that talked about the difference between Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. Essentially, it was suggested that Jobs had used Wozniak repeatedly to rise to the top, lying to his friend in the process. When Jobs refused to give workers in the company stock options, Wozniak decided to give these early employees $10m from his own payout. I know which Steve arguably had the most impact, but I also know which I'd prefer to be.

I decided early on that what I didn’t want was a ruthless business. Yes I wanted a successful one, but to me that doesn’t look like hanging your friends (or anyone else) out to dry in the process. It had to be about building people up, doing good for those around me. When I found coaching, helping people to achieve their dreams and live their best lives was a perfect fit. The purpose that I have in helping women do things they thought they couldn't is what gets me out of bed on a morning, and what pushes me forward when the going gets tough. Championing women who are extremely capable but full of self doubt and seeing them push out of their comfort zones and change their life is very rewarding.

I don’t want to do you a disservice and tell you all coaches are like that, because I’ve come across those who aren’t, who have the more ruthless streak! I’ve listened to coaches try to break the people they are coaching and even admit as much (and that is definitely not what coaching is about). But, we all have different values underpinning what we do (and why we do what we do) and when we better understand these and know what makes us tick, we make choices that are in alignment with our very core. So one of the things I start with when I’m coaching clients is to understand their values. It’s also a great place to start when thinking about what sort of business you want. The question you need to answer is “what’s most important to you".

If you’ve been looking at business in the online space for any length of time I’m pretty sure you’ll have come across the 6&7 figure entrepreneurs, apparent overnight successes with six figure months immediately after starting their businesses. I hate to break it to you, because the easy way is what we’re all looking for, but it doesn’t exist. Usually these overnight success stories have several years of business behind them, and the 6 figures are turnover rather than profit. Buyer beware! I can hand-on-heart say that I’ve never met a business owner who honestly said it was all easy and just landed on their lap without them breaking a sweat.

Actually, it’s hard. Rewarding, but bloody tough at times. There’s a reason that so many businesses fail. Going into it with your eyes open and with realistic expectations makes you more likely to succeed. Don’t listen to what you want to hear, because there will be people telling you that, every step you take. When you look behind the glamorous photo shoots in front of the Eiffel Tower, the bit that you don’t see is the same person working from dawn til dusk without taking a break, missing out on day after day of glorious summer weather, because business is top priority, priority over having a life. Obviously that’s not what is shared on social media, because it’s not what people want to see.

When I started my business I expected to work hard. I expected to make some sacrifices. But there are some things that I won’t compromise on. I want to be there watching my kids play football on a weekend, cheering them on, celebrating the wins, and commiserating when it doesn’t go so well. I want to be able to go for a walk in the park on a sunny day. I want my business to feel good, not just to look good. 

So how do you start a business that feels good? And how do you know it’s right for you? These are good questions, and ones that only you can answer. Firstly, you need to enjoy whatever it is you do. Never, I repeat never, start a business because you think / hope it will make you money. I’m not saying making money isn’t one of the goals of a business but it’s really not motivation enough to carry you through the hard times.

I think I’ve mentioned this, but I love coaching. But when you run a business you don’t get to do the thing that you love all of the time. There’s marketing and admin and copywriting and social media...amongst many other things. If, like me, you don’t love all of these things, making sure the service you offer at the centre of your business is something you love helps to balance it all out. As you grow your business you can outsource the things you don’t love to do, but it’s harder to outsource your core service, so doing something you love means you grow a business that you want to be in. When you’re thinking about the sort of business you want, think carefully. Choose something that you know will sustain you for the longer term, and think long and hard about how you’ll be spending your days and whether you can see yourself doing it in years to come. 

When I look around at the women who run successful businesses, they are passionate about what they do, and they have usually had a passion for that subject for a lot of years, whether it’s art or fitness or business or social media. Think about whether this is something you’d do whether you were paid for it or not, I think that’s a great benchmark, and it’s how I feel about coaching. I just love to do it. Yes I need to earn a living, but if I wasn’t paid for it I’d find a way to do it anyway, because I’m really passionate about it. 

Another sign to look out for is the thing that really absorbs you. What is it you’re doing when time flies by and you forget to eat lunch? When we’re in that state of flow, lost in what we’re doing, it tends to be something that challenges us in the right way. This also tends to be when we’re doing something that uses our strengths. It's so much easier to maximise the strengths we have rather than trying to correct areas of weakness. Knowing your strengths and using them makes you more likely to succeed so take some time to do a strengths finder exercise (I get my clients to do Gallup Strengths Finder) or ask a few trusted friends to share what they think your strengths are. You might be surprised by what they tell you, but let them explain why they think what they do, so they can share the evidence with you and help you to see from their perspective. 

Strengths aside, another thing to think about when you’re trying to work out the sort of business you should start, is your “Big Dream”. Your big dream is the thing that you’d really love to do, if only….you had enough money / time / guts (delete as appropriate). Maybe you’ve seen someone do something and thought you’d love to do that but you dismissed the idea outright because you couldn’t, too big, too scary. But you don’t need to go for that big dream at the outset necessarily. Often there is a smaller step you can take in the right direction. It’s about knowing that’s where you want to go, so it influences your choices and you move in the right direction. When you know what it is you want, opportunities start to present themselves. Whether you take them is your call.

Anyway, back to money. Whilst I don’t advocate starting a business solely to make money, it is important that you can earn a living from your business. Otherwise it’s really just a hobby. Take some time to work out your business model, so that you understand how you’re going to make money, how many of each item you need to sell, what your costs are, and all that other good stuff. Do this at the outset so that your sums are done and you’re not guessing what you need, and you’re more likely to be successful just by virtue of knowing your numbers. Your business will evolve and you might find a sweet spot along the way that you didn’t identify before you started so be prepared to be flexible and open to opportunities. Lots of businesses develop into something quite different from when they’d started! 

The final, and probably most important question you need to answer is what problem are you solving for your customer. The thing is, people buy things to solve problems that they have, pain points in their lives that are nagging loudly and repeatedly to get attention. If what you’re selling doesn’t solve a problem, if it’s just a nice to have, then why would someone buy it from you? They wouldn’t, that’s the short answer. So get really specific about who your customer is and what their pain point is. If you speak to everybody then you speak to nobody, as they say. Narrow down your audience until it’s smaller than you ever thought would work, and talk to them specifically with the words you use. It makes a world of difference. 

I’d like to leave you with one final parting thought and it’s this; whatever your business, pick the hard path every day. What I mean by that is don’t get bogged down being busy doing all the things that won’t get you anywhere. Hiding away behind a desk and a laptop won’t get you customers. People buy from people, so put yourself out there, be yourself, use video, engage with people online and in person when you can.

Just don't do it in front of the Eiffel Tower!

Me. Not in front of the Eiffel Tower!!

The Happy Monday challenge!

It’s January.

Tinsel has all been put back in the loft, glittery jumpers are met with stern reminders that Christmas is over with (sparkles are not just for Christmas is my standard response to this!) and the last of the twiglets and remaining quality street have been eaten. Yes, even the toffee and coconut ones.

The weather is grim, and the cries of let it snow have been replaced with horror at the idea of grey slush and icy weather.  

It’s been approximately a zillion weeks since you were paid and your next payday still seems years away.

And finally your resolutions to get super fit and lose half your body weight have been defeated as you’d rather stay in bed than try to hit the gym in this weather, and of course the quality street needing finishing off.

Welcome to blue Monday, officially the most depressing day of the year!  

But only if you want it to be.

This year, I’m choosing to turn blue Monday into a happy Monday. Yes, it’s January. Yes, snow is apparently on the way again. And yes, it’s still not payday!

But who’s going to let tiny inconsequential details like that stop them? Not me!  

I’m going to make my Monday happy, because that’s what I prefer. I won’t be drinking wine to celebrate it, because I’m doing dry January (which is also making me happy!) but I am going to chose to do a few things to make my day brighter: 

1. I’m going to go for a walk. In fact, I’m going to walk my littlest boy to school. Even if it snows! I’ll feel good for some fresh air and exercise so it’s on my list. 

2. I’m going to cook something nice to eat, because I like cooking, and I like eating nice food. I haven’t decided what yet but plenty of time to sort it out! 

3. I’m going to bake a cake. Just because I like cake, and the kids like cake, and it will be a nice post gym treat tomorrow night. 

As the Dalai Lama says, the purpose of our lives is to be happy. It’s nice to be reminded of that sometimes I think. 

So my challenge to you is to make your Monday a happy one too. Do something that feels like a treat, something nice, or something fun. You totally deserve it.  

PS Happiness isn’t just for this Monday...so prioritise the things you know will make you feel good in the longer term as well as the short term.  

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t!

A couple of years ago, one of my little boys decided he wanted to be an author. He’d really got into the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series of books and loved them so much that he wanted to write books too.

Now I don’t know if you’ve experienced anything similar, but my two boys love sport, being outside, jumping in muddy puddles (you must wear your boots!), picking up worms, and playing on devices (at the time it was all about mine craft, now it’s all fifa and fortnite). So anything that encourages them to sit down and read and write is bloody awesome in my book, pardon the pun. At every opportunity he’d be adding to his story, talking it through with his brother and friends, and really getting into it.

Anyway, my son happened to mention to one of his teachers that he wanted to be an author when he grew up. As you do. I dare say there was a whole “what do you want to be when you grow up” conversation going on around this. As a quick side note, I wanted to be a teacher. Then I realised that would mean being around kids all day and, (bless their socks) I’m not the most patient person so I decided to follow a more ambitious career path and try to herd grown ups together instead. More about that another time! 

So, the day of this conversation at school about what they wanted to be, my little boy came home and told me that cold water had been poured on his wish to be an author. He'd been told it was unlikely he’d get published and good luck with that. I’m sure it wasn’t quite that blunt, but he came home a bit dejected and defeated and when he told me what had happened I grew crosser and crosser. And when I get cross, I get pretty determined. 

I’m a great believer in not limiting the possibilities out there, and for my kids to grow up and see the world is a big place and most things are possible for them. See how I didn’t say anything is possible? I’m a realist too. Running a marathon is absolutely doable. Winning one is rather unlikely. Not impossible, but see the difference between those two? Exactly my point.  

Anyway, I encouraged my little boy to keep writing his book and I started to research self publishing options. I can’t say it was really easy, but it wasn’t too difficult really to get his book self published on amazon using createspace which essentially prints copies on demand. I had it made into a proper book for him, I wrote the blurb and added a picture and a review (from me with full disclosure of course!) and that was one of his birthday presents that year. He was thrilled that he’d written his very first book and could hold it in his hands. 

Fast forward a couple of years and he’s not sure what he wants to be when he grows up now, and that’s okay. Some of us get to middle age and still don’t know. But what he has learnt is that there are possibilities out there for him, and he doesn’t need to be limited by what other people think. And that’s pretty powerful in my book. Pun intended (again!).  

Said boy is too shy for a pic! Published this with his permission though.